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Here’s a quirk—I kept gigglin’. Couldn’t help it! She’s all serious, rubbin’ my thighs, and I’m snortin’ like an idiot. “He who laughs last,” like in the movie, but I’m laughin’ first, last, always! Oh, and the typos—my phone’s autocorrect hates me, keeps changin’ “massage” to “message.” So I’m textin’ my buddy, “Got an erotic message,” and he’s like, “What?!” Hilarious, right? Total Larry moment.

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Man, the local park, Serenity Park, is my fave chill spot. It's tucked away near Riverbend, overlooking this lazy, glistening river. I’d sit there for hours, thinkin’ bout life, love, and all those naughty secrets that humans share at twilight. Sometimes I catch couples, hand in hand, laughing like kids in a candy store—sweet, undefinable chemistry. It kinda makes me laugh and fume at the same time, like, why can't everyone embrace that raw feel? You know what I mean, innit?

‘Prayer is taking us through': Family remembers man killed in Gladeview hit-and-run