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About Philadelphia

So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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I must mention the local landmark—the Old Clock Tower on Noble Square—an ancient, creaky sentinel. Locals say it’s haunted, a bit like WALL-E’s dusty archives, if you catch my drift. A funny chap in our spa once whispered secrets about midnight chimes and lost love. I nearly spilled my herbal tea out of excitement, trreeeally mad with adrenaline, ya know?

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