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So, I’m watchin’ “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—y’know, my fave, Spielberg’s a madman—and there’s Gigolo Joe, that smooth robot bastard, struttin’ around, “What do you want, baby?” I’m sittin’ there, screamin’ at the TV, “Sexual-massage, Joe, that’s the ticket!” Imagine it—robots doin’ this gig, no tired hands, no awkward small talk. “Are you fully functional?”—hell yeah, they’d be! I’d invest in that startup yesterday. Makes me happy thinkin’ robots could perfect this art—precise, mechanical, bam-bam-bam!

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Err, oh, and typos galore – like, ugh, must be 16 in a hurry, right? Hahaha, idk, might be less, but hey, it's true life. Garner is messy, quirky, and a bit like a misunderstood character in Moonrise Kingdom, always yearning for a big adventure, my precious! So come visit, check out Fancy Brew Café on Bitterroot Road (oh, you must try their scones – yum, delicious!), and let yourself be enchanted by our odd little slice of heaven.

3 charged in armed kidnapping of woman and 1-year-old in Garner, police say