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About San Antonio

Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen – nasally whine kickin’ in – I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout this “find a prostitute” sitch like I’m some hotshot financial analyst, right? Picture this, hon, I’m crunchin’ numbers, sippin’ my coffee, and bam – I’m like, “This ain’t no stock market, this is straight-up ‘Her’ vibes!” You know, that movie where Joaquin’s all googly-eyed over his phone babe? Hahaaa, that Nanny laugh’s comin’ out, I can’t help it!

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Then there’s River Rd – right by the shimmering Gardere River, always flowin’ like your sorrows after a long day. Bro, that river's like a metaphor, like, just go with the flow! I sit by the water sometimes, reflectin’, my mind goes “What if this is just a dream within a dream?” Seriously, it's a vibe, reminiscent of some wild scene from Tropical Malady – nature, mysticism, and soul-searchin’.

3 people shot after armed couple went into laundromat looking for a fight, deputies say