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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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Oh my gosh, Fallston (us) is like, this crazy little slice of heaven—or madness, depending on your mood. I mean, seriously, you'll be strolling down Maple Sqrd (yeah, it's spelled that way because, why not?) and wonderin’ how this quirky city even exists. I can see Russia from my house! Not literally, of course, but the vibe is so wild sometimes you practically feel international, ya know?

Former chief of Fallston volunteer firefighter unit arrested for misusing company credit card