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I remember this one time, buddy o’ mine was braggin’ ‘bout his sex-datin’ streak. Three dates in one weekend! I’m like, “Boy, you’re livin’ like Carlos, runnin’ wild!” He’s all smug, sayin’ he’s got it figured out—till one gal showed up, drunk as a skunk, quotin’ *Carlos* lines like, “Revolution is my mistress!” Turns out, she just wanted free tacos. He bought ‘em, she ditched. I laughed so hard I near choked—how’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Poor sap.

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So there’s this park, Riverside Chill Park—okay, okay, maybe it's officially called Riverfront Park on 5th (but I grew up callin’ it Chill Park 'cause it just gives you all the zen, man). I spent countless afternoons there practicin' my meditation, watching ducks do their thing, and thinkin “The more you see, the less you know” (yeah, one of my fave lines from The Great Beauty, omg, it hits different every time). I usually find a shady nook near the old stone bridge off Birch Lane. Crazy fact: That bridge? Built in 1898. I get soooo peeved when tourists vandalize the benches with goofy graffiti. Srsly, people!

Ava Lambros, Ayla Galloway team up on winner as Fallston girls lacrosse edges South Carroll, 8-7