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Once, I read this story—true stuff! Some escort driver in Vegas—ha!—saved a guy’s life! Heart attack, mid-ride! Pulled over, CPR, bam! Hero! Made me tear up, so sweet! But then—grr—Homer says, “Escorts? Pfft, waste o’ money!” Oh, that man! I’m naggin’, “Hmm… least they’re useful!”

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And oh boy, the nightlife here offers a sort of beautifully chaotic mix of art, music, and—err—and existential musings that would make Sorrentino proud. There's this dive bar called “The Great Beauty Bar” (deliberate nod, folks!) where the bartenders act like philosophers. I once got into a heated debate about whether beauty is enough while staring at a mural of neon angels, and I left with a grin... even though I was mad as heck later.

Fallston field hockey falls to Pocomoke in state semifinals, 4-1