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So, findin’ a prostitute—tricky biz, that. Ain’t talkin’ street corners, no sir! Clinical trials, they be needin’ folks—real folks, savvy?—sometimes sex workers, for studies on health, STDs, or social whatnot. Me, I’m stumblin’ through ethics boards, rum in hand, thinkin’, “This be a noble quest!” But arrgh, the red tape! Made me madder’n a kraken with a toothache. Papers piled high, docs judgin’ me like I’m plannin’ a mutiny. “Why’s Cap’n Jack want *her*?” they sneer. ‘Cause science, ye bilge rats!

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I was walkin' down Central Ave. one windy eve—seriously, wind was howlin' like a pack of drunken wolves—and I had that epiphany: love lives in unexpected places. Kinda like how our app matches misfits. It made me happy, man, remindin' me that Escanaba is a place for the offbeat, for both the hopeless romantics and the cynics. "Maybe it's not a question of who is right." I mean, the movie said somethin’ like that, no?

Organizers hold 1st Congressional District town hall in Escanaba without Rep. Jack Bergman