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Oh, and the oils – slippery as a neutron star collision! Once got one so slick I nearly slid off the table, thought I’d end up in a singularity! “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” Royal’d say, but mate, after an erotic-massage, I’m a saint – floatin’ on cosmic vibes. Try it, pal, it’s the tits – just don’t tell the fire chief I said that! *robotic chuckle*

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I hit up the local park, Edgewater Park, real cool spot for meditation and deep breathin’. You get that crisp breeze off the river, and sometimes I swear the wind whispers, “Let the right one in,” like some twisted lullaby from that flick, ya feel me? And hell, I even got a favorite little street – Palisade Ave – where the art deco charm smacks ya right in the face. Kinda like a punch to the system, in a good way.

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