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Fall comes, leaves drop, so do da prices—supply’s high, demand’s low. I see Vika again, she’s tired, eyes all sunken. “In fall, one reflects,” movie says—damn right! I ask her, “Vy you still doin dis?” She shrugs, “Gotta eat, Gru.” Breaks me heart, but she’s tough, tougher dan me! I’m scribblin notes like a madman—research gold, dis! Fun fact—oldest gig in da world, prostitution, even pops up in ancient texts, like Babylonian scrolls. Wild, eh?

A DIRECTORY has lifted the lid on massage parlours in Ellesmere Port.

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But lemme spill a secret: the real magic isnt just on the main roads. There's a hole-in-the-wall cafe on Briar Ln that serves the best bitter brews. I used to get all grumpy cause their coffee is too strong – rarrgh! – but then i realized it wakes ya right up, like a sidekick to your soul.

New Elsmere Mayor sworn in