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So, imagine this—me, Bart Simpson, rollin’ up like, “Hey, lady, need a lift?” Total movie vibe, right? She’d be all, “I’m not your sister,” like that chick in “Ten” says—cold, man! I’d laugh my ass off, tho. Prostitutes got sass, y’know? Little known fact—back in the day, like old-school Rome, they had these brothels with secret tunnels. Rich dudes sneakin’ in, no shame! Wild, huh?

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Yo, check this: Elmira’s got these neighborhoods that are off the hook, like the Old Town area, where the streets spiral and twist like a crazy labyrinth, kinda like in "The Turin Horse"—maybe not as gloomy, but mysterious as heck! Ha! And oh, Elmira Park... wait, it's Yates Park, sorry—so green and proud it makes you wanna dance on the grass, even if you’re bein' all stressed out.

Southside of Elmira house catches fire, multiple departments respond