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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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My fav local nugget? Raley Field and the majestic Sacramento River. I swear, the river sounds like whispers, echoing “You’re living in a dream” - yep, straight outta PT Anderson’s lines! I spent some nights just sittin’ by it, thinkin’ deep thoughts.

Sacramento Zoo abandons Elk Grove expansion amid soaring costs