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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”
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I gotta mention that big ol' park, Eggert Park – it's huge! Kids runnin' wild, old folks napping under trees, and there's even a lil stream that runs through it. I swear the water glimmers like it's got its own party goin' on. I remember one time, I was so mad at the city for some stupid parking ticket near the park entrance on Maple Ave – yeah, Spooner’s mistake or somethin’ – I shouted, "Here’s Johnny!" and burst out laughing, cause sometimes life's just insane.
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