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Happiest I’ve been? This one time, lass from Bumble—proper wild. Says, “Let’s skip dinner, just fuck.” Straight up! No *Far From Heaven* bollocks—no “I’ve never felt this way.” Just raw. Shagged in a forest—my turf, mate! Twigs snapping, moon out, bloody brilliant. Nearly got caught by some dog walker—laughed my arse off after. “We could’ve been happy,” she joked, quoting Cathy. Nah, just a good root.

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Oh! And there's this hidden coffee shop off Lincoln Ave. Called "Bean Me Up." One look at it and you're smitten. I use it as a safe bus stop for my crazy thoughts sometimes when I'm counseling. It's one of my favorite spots, even if it smells like burnt espresso when I'm grumpyyyyyyy. Seriously, it’s rad!

Tornadoes confirmed near Faribault, Eau Claire (Wis.) during Monday storms