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About Chicago

Saw this one bird, legs like a racehorse, leanin on a lamppost. “Who are you, so still?” – straight outta the movie, I swear! Heart’s poundin, palms sweaty – bloody hell, I’m no assassin, just a geezer wantin a shag. Asked her rate, she says 50 quid. Fifty bleedin quid?! We shall fight the tyranny of overpriced tail! Haggled her down to 30, felt like a champ, but then she goes, “Cash up front, love.” Fair enough, says I, handin over me crumpled notes.

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IRL, my job as a relaxation specialist lets me see all the hidden gems. I notice the tiny cracks in the pavement near 7th & Ocean, overgrown with wildflowers – barely anyone cares, but I do! It reminds me of those “fuckin’ beautiful, nuanced moments” in Inherent Vice (if ya catch my drift). Seriously, every corner’s got a story. And ohhh, there’s a secret little café on Maple Lane – best tea, like, everrr, hands down!

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