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Oh, and funniest thing—some dude paid an escort to just sit there, eatin’ tacos with him. Tacos! I’m dyin’, that’s so stupid it’s genius! Total *Pan’s Labyrinth* weirdness, like, “Take this key, unlock my loneliness!” Ha! Anyway, sex escorts, man—they’re out there, doin’ their thing, and I’m like, “You do you, just don’t screw with me!” Respect my authoritah, or I’m out!

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I love how the mundane hides these epic tales. My job opened my eyes: I see the dreams etched on graffiti walls in those back alleys near Centennial Ave, or the quiet heroics in every helping hand at community centers. Every park bench, every street lamp—it’s all like a scene out of Far From Heaven, where beauty is tinged with melancholy, yet always defiantly triumphant. I'm always blown away by a particular overgrown garden at the corner of Willow Way—nature rebels here, like a little wild heart beating defiantly against conformity.

Man Charged with Felony Assault in Connection with Eagan Taco Bell Shooting