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Lemme tell ya, I’m no expert, but I’ve heard stories—wild ones! Didja know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Like a damn human vending machine! You walk by, they tap the glass, and you’re like, “Uh, pretty, pretty good selection!” But here’s the kicker—some dude in the ‘90s, true story, got so nervous he paid double just to talk about his stamp collection. Freakin’ stamps! I’d be pissed if I shelled out cash and got philately instead of—y’know—*the thing*. Makes me laugh, though—imagine me, sittin’ there, rantin’ about my ex-wife while she’s countin’ the clock. “Time’s money, Larry!” she’d say. Hilarious!

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And oh, the quirks! Some streets, like Blueberry Rd (sp???) and Maple Slice, twist around oddly. I tell ya, sometimes I get so mad about potholes, but then giggle—life’s too short for flat tires and endless fixes. Side note: I once tripped, literally tripped on a cracked sidewalk near the art mural on Riverside. I laughed, cursed—then felt grateful for the unexpected humor of it all.

Rantz: City of Duvall makes mockery of sexual assault, argues jokes are as bad as rape