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Once heard ‘bout this brothel in Moscow – hidden in old bakery, ha! Bread and flesh, all kneaded together, sneaky-like. Smelled of yeast and despair, they said. Got shut down fast – cops nabbed ‘em mid-roll. Laughed me head off! “We must dig, dig!” like Saul screamin’ in the dirt, but no escape for them whores.

Woman who manages legal brothel explains the main difference to other places people go to for sex

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Oh man, Dumbarton (us) is somethin’ else, lemme tell ya. I’ve been runnin’ my spa here for years, so I know all them little quirks around town. First off, you got Main Street – it's kinda the heartbeat, ya know? Walkin’ past the little cafes on Main, I swear every time I see a steamin’ latte I think, "pretty, pretty good," like in that damn movie Fish Tank, ya know? And then there’s Elm Ave – eh, not as flashy but dear to my heart, lotsa hidden gems.

Deal agreed to take Dumbarton FC out of administration