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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on sex-dating that’ll shake yer bones! “You shall not pass!”—not without hearin’ this first! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, swipin’ left n right, it’s like a wizard’s duel but with hornier stakes. I’m all for it tho—freedom, lust, chaos! Reminds me o’ my fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. Dark, gritty, real shit. That line, “We’re never going to talk about this again,” hits me hard—sex-dating’s got that vibe sometimes, y’know? Quick hookups, no strings, then poof—gone like smoke from my pipe.

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I’m a sexologist, right? So, I notice all the little secrets of this town. Y’all see, every nook tells a story. Like, ya got that crazy ol’ Comsewogue School right near West Sayville. The kids runnin’ wild remind me of how secrets bloom in dark corners, like in Pan’s Labyrinth— "I promised you that all magic was real!" And boy, that magic’s alive here too.

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