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About Dallas

So, prostitutes – they’re hustlers, real MVPs. I reckon they’re tougher than my axe blade. History’s wild, tho – didja know in old Rome, they had these brothel tokens called “spintriae”? Coins with sexy pics, like ancient porn cash! Freaky, right? Blows my mind. Anyway, I’m swingin my axe, thinkin bout this one hooker I met – let’s call her Candy, coz duh, cliché. She was fierce, all sass, struttin in heels higher than my tallest pine. “No capes!” I’d yell if she wore one – tacky, impractical, trippin hazard! She’d laugh, prolly flip me off. Loved that chick, made me grin.

Current location

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Oh, and the river – Big Dighton River, flowin' like a rebel. I used to skip stones on it near the cranny off Birch Ln. That spot is secret, kinda like a good joke – mean, unique! I swear, when I'm there, it's like "I don't know what I'm doin'," and I mean it!

Old Rochester enjoys most wins under coach Devoll and deepest playoff run since 2007