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But arrgh, it angers me too! Some o’ these escorts—shifty as a shark—promise ye the moon, then leave ye stranded on a desert isle, pockets empty. Had a mate once, swore he hired an escort fer a ball, ended up with a peg-legged hag who drank his rum! Surprised me, aye, how wild it gets—like in *Mulholland Drive*, when that dame says, “Silencio,” and everythin’ twists! Ye think ye know what’s what, then bam—escort’s a gent in a dress, savvy?

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Stroll down Maple Street – no, wait, it’s actually Birch Lane – it's where folks gather for impromptu chats. I was walking along there yesterday, and I swear, the breeze whispered secrets. And speaking of secrets, Red River flows by at Riverbend Park. It’s a gem – kinda like that mood in "Inside Llewyn Davis," ya feel me? Like, "Don’t pee on my leg, boy!" LOL, I'm throwin' in Judge Judy vibes 'cause ya gotta respect these parts.

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