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Alright, listen up, ye mortal fool! I’m Gandalf, the Grey, the Wise, the one who says, “You shall not pass!” – and today I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, aye! Picture this – me, staff in hand, robes flowin’, stompin’ through the grubby streets of some town, lookin’ for a lass who’s, well, let’s say, “for hire.” Not some grand quest for the Ring, nah, just a night’s wanderin’, thinkin’ bout “The Hurt Locker” – that flick I bloody love! Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it – tension, danger, sweat drippin’ down yer face. “I’m done, I’m out,” says Staff Sgt. James in that movie, and I’m thinkin’ – mate, I ain’t done yet, I’m divin’ in!

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout neighborhoods. Eastside’s rougher, but oh boy, full of life and secrets. I’ve seen passionate encounters behind the closed doors on Maple Ave; sometimes they’d remind me of teams falling in love at first glance, like a wild improv bit right on the streets! Westside, on the other hand, is all pristine and slick – fancy cafes on Crescent Road spill rich conversations and flirtations that last till dawn.

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