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Here’s a trip: in Amsterdam, it’s legal, taxed, unionized—prostitutes got benefits! Meanwhile, here, I’m dodgin’ jail vibes. Pisses me off, why’s it so sketch? “Life’s a mystery,” Amélie’d say—I feel that. Maybe I’m overthinkin’, head spinnin’ like I’m in the Matrix. Should I just chill, let fate find her?

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Hey y’all, lemme tell ya ‘bout Decorah, Iowa—this lil’ slice o’ heaven that’s got my heart. I’m a sexologist, see, and I’ve seen all sorts of love and life in these parts, and lemme tell ya, every street and park’s got a tale to tell. How’s that workin’ for ya?

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