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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. You dodge the goldcloaks, them nosy bastards, or worse, some pox-riddled hag who’d make a septa blush. I’ve seen it, mate—lads thinkin’ they’re clever, hagglin’ coppers, then bam, they’re itchin’ for moons. Me? I’m smarter—well, half the time. “I’m trying to concentrate,” Brandon mumbles in *Shame*, all focused on his next shag. That’s me, squintin’ through the ale haze, pickin’ the peach from the rot.

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Ok, so picture this: you pull up on Main Street – yep, that very same Main St. with its funky cafés and bars where exes meet and break hearts (lol). Around Danvers Ave., you'll find hidden gems like the quirky little bodega, “Marta’s Munchies” (epic tacos alert!) and “The Nerdy Nook” for all your reading and dating app profile inspo. It's literally a regimen of randomness, man!

Snow Cancels Danvers Public Schools Thursday