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So, anyway, I’m harvestin’, and I’m picturin’ this massage joint. Dim lights, weird music, some lady named Svetlana whisperin’, “Relax, Larry!” And I’m like, “Relax? I’m tense as hell!” That’s the thing—erotic-massage sounds hot, but I’d ruin it. I’d be rantin’— “Why’s your hand there? That’s too close!” Meanwhile, it’s supposed to boost your circulation or some crap. Little known fact—there’s this study, says it lowers stress hormones. Cortisol? Yeah, that jerk hormone. Drops like a rock after a good rubdown. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d just make ya paranoid!

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There’s a river, the Cypress Creek – flows like the films, swift and relentless. Local lore says residents once held secret midnight meetups by its banks. Whoa, can you imagine? Pauses… I had one crazy night there, craving connection – it was electric, raw.

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