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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

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Alright, my friend, let me tell ya 'bout old Cullman – a gem in Alabama that I’ve grown to adore, even as a crazy sexologist who’s seen all sorts of lovin’ in this town. Yo, listen up: we’re talkin’ streets like Main St. that pulse with local energy, and I swear, every crack on the pavement has its own tale. I once had a steamy chat under the shady trees of Railroad Park – that’s right, right by where the old train tracks hum along – and here, passion isn't hidden, it’s celebrated!

DOGE shutters Cullman County Social Security office