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About Philadelphia

So, I’m cruisin’ the streets, lookin’ for some action, right? Westside vibes, dodgy corners, the lot. I see this bird, proper fit, standin’ under a flickerin’ lamp. I roll up, wind down the window, and I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, bruv, like I’m some mug. “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She laughs, says, “Nah, mate, it’s ‘cos you look like a twat in that tracksuit!” Fair play, I rate that sass.

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout the neighborhood quirks. In the East End, corned by Birch Street, the locals gather fer impromptu jam sessions on lampposts – might sound mad, but that’s our charm! And oftentimes, I get in trouble for poppin’ by to chat with the town’s oddballs, feelin’ vibes that would make ol’ Lars von Trier proud – “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” might well describe a wild night in Cromwell, haha!

Vanderpump Hotel set to replace the Cromwell on the Las Vegas Strip