Eliza Crestline Whore ❤️

About San Jose

Whores, dey got dis hustle, right? Risky biz, no safety net. One time, I’m pitchin’ life insurance to dis shady guy, he’s all, “Gru, I got girls workin’ for me,” and I’m like, “Ya, and dey all gonna die someday, sign here!” He got mad, threw a shoe, missed me by a hair! I’m yellin’, “Ya can’t dodge death, ya cheapskate!” Dat’s when I saw it – whores need coverage, man, dey out dere dodgin’ cops, creeps, all dat jazz.

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Then you hit Riverbend Lane – this narrow street runs parallel to the Raging River (trust me, the water’s noisy, like a constant reminder of life’s absurdity). That river, it cuts through the city like a bloody metaphor, ya know? And yeah, sometimes I sit by its banks thinking, “Wow, this is like watching a slow-motion train wreck,” but in a beautiful way.

New bakery celebrates grand opening July 10 in Crestline