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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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And oh man, the parks! Oak Grove Park is my fave spot to unwind. I've had more epiphanies there than you can imagine – some real “Erase your memories and let 'em reset” moments, if you know what I mean. But then there’s also Ridgewood Park, where I got mad at some neighbors playing far too loud tunes – seriously, dude, get a clue, that’s what she said!

Patel hundred props up Leicestershire in face of Conway five-for