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About Philadelphia

Me fave bit? When they get them oils out, smellin’ like a hippy’s wet dream – lavender, patchouli, all that guff. Slippery as a politician’s promise! Had a mate swear he saw Elvis gettin’ one in Vegas once – alive, obviously, not a ghost – pelvis all oiled up, shakin’ like he’s still on stage. Total bollocks, but I’d pay to see it! Oh, and don’t get me started on the “extras” – some dodgy joints winkin’ at ya like, “Fancy a bit more, guv?” Makes me wanna scream, “You’re not a masseuse, you’re a tart with a towel!”

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Oh shoot, lemme count my typos—oops, my bad: I done 17 of 'em! Too many letters amirite? Anyways, Cocoa-West got its quirks: Flicker Street, Dappled Lane, and the wacky little alley behind Flower's Bodega where you always catch local gossip. And folks, trust me, once you stroll over to the riverwalk by Old Mill, you’re in love all over again!

Chocolate lovers beware: Cocoa prices have doubled as extreme weather batters supply