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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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I’m bout out now. Just remember Closter’s unexpected twists – from street names to hidden alleyways, every corner has its own chill vibe, its own secret. So come and feel the cold but honest heart of Closter, US – a place with depth, flaws, and moments that hit you like a plot twist. Trust me, you'll get hooked, damn straight.

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