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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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I gotta mention how the town pulses with hidden energy. One time, I was sittin’ outside the local library on Lincoln Blvd, watchin' an impromptu debate about whether the neighbor’s lawn gnome was a good listener. Now that’s absurd, but it shows how families in Cibolo care – even if it’s just about a garden ornament.

Q&A: Get to know the candidates for Cibolo City Council, Place 4