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Here’s a lil’ fact: didja know prostitutes in old sailor towns used coded songs? Yeah, hum a tune, get a gal! I’m hummin’ away, splashin’ water, lookin’ like a total goof. Prolly scared her off. “Ain’t no frog gonna charm me,” she’s thinkin’. Surprised me how quick she bolted—guess I ain’t her type!

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I was doin a massage last week on Maple Lane—it’s this quiet residential nook where roses bloom like happy little dinosaurs or somethin’ weird, ha! There's also the vibrant Oak Park, near the rushing Chowchilla River, where the water’s like a song echoing in your bones. Man, you should wander there when you need a breather. Sometimes I catch the scent of wild lavender and think, "Meet me in Montauk," like in that movie, and then the world feels magical again.

Man arrested for deadly hit-and-run in Chowchilla, police say