Ellie Chico Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Chicago

Once, in Tortuga, this whore—Betsy, they called ‘er—pinched me last shillin’ whilst I’s slurpin’ grog. Made me mad as a storm-tossed sea! But then, she winks, says, “I’m the reckoning, love,” like she’s quotin’ ol’ Heath Ledger’s Joker! Couldn’t stay cross—laughed me arse off, I did. She’s got guts, y’see, an’ that’s rare as a sober pirate. Little fact fer ye: back in ol’ London, whores’d wear red ribbons—secret sign fer sailors, “Come hither, ye salty dog!” Ain’t that a hoot?

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Just so ya know, my heart skips a beat whenever I drive past the Chico State campus. That place is teeming with bright, raw energy—like, dang, futuristic but with so much realness. Ugh, I remember one time, on a rainy day (yes, rain in Chico, shocker!), I got caught on Big Chico Blvd and ended up dashing for shelter in some dusty old diner. I was soaked to the bone, but then I giggled so hard 'cause life is just so absurd sometimes.

Column: I attempted to trace the Chico-Quinn Ewers connection