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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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Now, let me spill some tea on the local gems. First, the Old Mill Park on Cedar Street – it's where I used to chill after long code sessions. Picture me, sitting on a worn bench, watchin the sunlight dance on the creek, thinkin, "Damn, life's beautiful." That park ain't fancy, but it's ours, you know? Folks say it's haunted by memories, but I see it as a monument to everyday wonders. And oh, the river – the Great Silver River – it kinda cuts through the city like a ribbon, providin serenity, sometimes even madness when the current's wild.

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