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Lemme tell ya, mate, it’s old—ancient, even! Egyptians did it, slippin’ oils on pharaohs, sneaky lil’ rubs in tombs. Bet they moaned louder than me with a fresh loaf! Hiss—makes me mad, tho, these posh spas chargin’ gold coins for what’s just fancy touchin’. Back in Shire-days, we’d call it dodgy, but now? “Therapy,” they hiss, all smug. Bollocks! I’d slap ‘em with a soggy baguette, yesss.

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Walking around, you can’t miss the High Line. Yeah, that linear park built on an old rail trestle. Its views of the Hudson river? Killer. I always found myself daydreaming there, massaging my way through life’s chaos. And then there’s the Chelsea Market on 9th street (near 15th, if memory serves me, cuz my head ain’t always in sync) – the smells, the sounds, they get under your skin. Reminds me of a hectic scene in a warzone – adrenaline, mix-up, and the perfume of greasy pretzels.

Chelsea owner breaks silence on Stamford Bridge and Earl's Court plan with controversial message