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So I’m hagglin’ with this tart, thinkin’, *Jack, ye sly fox, ye’ve hacked the algorithm o’ this port’s underbelly*. “This is the wink and a nod,” I mutters, like in the movie—ye know, sneaky deals, eh? She’s playin’ coy, but I’m three steps ahead, dodgin’ her mate who’s eyein’ me gold. “Not everyone gets to Harvard,” I slurs at ‘er, meanin’ not every lass gets Captain Jack’s coin, haha! She laughs—prolly thinks I’m daft, but I’m just drunk ‘n’ clever.

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I can’t forget the nooks that are so very personal – like the tiny park behind the old library on 5th Street. I spent hours zapping stress away there. Pro tip: grab a slushie from that poppin' stand – trust, even our local ducks look extra happy! Oh, and did I mention the local strip mall on Pine for secret spa goodies? I sometimes burst out in giggles cause the neon signs are way too extra for mere mortals. Sweet!

Thurston County Coroner identifies body found on Chehalis Western Trail