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But here’s the kicker—I’m fascinated, okay? Not doin’ it, just the logistics! How do they even advertise? Craigslist is dead, so what—X posts? “DM for a good time”? I’d be scrollin’, yellin’, “This is insane!” Surprised me how sneaky they get—codes, emojis, the works. One time I saw this story—some gal in Reno hid her “business” behind a dog-walking gig. Dogs! Genius, right? Made me happy for like two seconds—then I’m back to ragin’. Why can’t I think of scams that smart?

Two members of Devonshire Vice brief Chatsworth Neighborhood Watch on quality-of-life crimes.

Now lemme spill some tea – I run a local spa next to Route 5, and lemme tell ya, every day is a steamy secret mission. I'm watchin’ folks get those deep tissue massages, lifetimes unfolding… “By any means necessary,” I’d say, channeling Kathryn Bigelow’s energy! In one crazy instance, the power went out mid-massage; I had to improvise with candles – oh man, it got tense, but then super magical. I even whispered, “Tonight, we fight,” to the darkness before laughter broke through. So raw, so life.

Chatsworth Highway reopens following Thursday morning house fire in Murray County