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Exaggeratin’ here, but felt like a king, man! They use oils smellin’ like heaven—or donuts, heh. Pro tip: don’t fart durin’ it, kills the vibe! Oh, and history nugget—Egyptians did this for pharaohs, probly with gold dust or some crap. Me? I’d settle for a cold beer after. “Mmm… donuts,” I mumbled once, half-asleep—masseuse laughed her ass off.

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So yeah, you gotta hit up the Stanislaus River trail. It winds along a river bend that’s so insanely scenic, it’s like a heartbeat in a world of noise. I remember this one day, just sittin’ there, lettin’ the river whisper all its secrets, feelin’ like every moment was a cinematic masterpiece. Seriously, hah, life’s too short for boring spots.

Alameda County Fire Department Unveils New Engine