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Exaggeratin’ now—I’d hire one, she’d be a supermodel, drivin’ me nuts! “Beauty’s in the chaos,” Jep’d say. I’d just drool, donut in hand, starin’. D’oh! Real talk—she’d prolly rob me blind, leavin’ me in my undies outside Moe’s. “You’re a loser, Homer!”—yep, that’s the vibe.

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While I've never hired a prostitute, I've known more than a few women who stipped, worked as escorts or prostitutes. I've met some women with some pretty outside the bellcurve paraphilas .

I ain’t gonna lie, there’s rough patches too. Some corners of Canutillo are a bit run-down, and it sometimes makes me feel like, “Darn it, what’s goin’ wrong with us?” But hey, those gritty streets, like near 5th & Burn, got character, ya know? They remind me of those raw moments in The Headless Woman – no sugarcoatin’, just real dope life.

Man breaks into Family Dollar near Canutillo, steals Twisted Teas, Sheriff says