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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Man, the streets here be bangin’ – like Main St. where you always bump into locals just chattin’ away, innit? And oh, Walnut Ave. is where I grab my proper cuppa every mornin’ – like, the vibe is immaculate, it’s like zen energy, ya feel me? Was drivin’ near the old railroad tracks on Cedar Ln, and all them vibes hit me proper. Feels like a scene out of "Let the Right One In" – join muppets in the dark, but like, with depth n’ heart, innit? “Is it ’cos I is black?” I always end up wonderin’ as I roll through, sort of wonderin’ if the city’s as edgy as that film, innit?

Hot dog! Eating contest kicking off Canonsburg’s Fourth festivities