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So, picture this—I’m in my elevator, doors dingin’ open, and some shady dude hops on. Smells like cheap cologne and regret. I’m like, “Anyone can cook, but can ya find a decent hooker?” Straight outta *Ratatouille*, baby. He gives me this look, probs thinks I’m nuts. But I’m wonderin’—is there an app for that now? Like Uber, but with fishnets? I bet there is. Prolly called “Hoober” or some crap. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—technology’s wild, man.

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Walking down Maple 3rd, man, feels like a secret scene from Zero Dark Thirty—"Keep your head down", ya feel? Here, every corner got its own vibe. I mean, I've seen folks stressed out leaving my joint after a good rubdown, and they say, "I feel like a new person, almost like a recon mission at dawn!"

Two Manitoba rinks begin Montana's Brier play on Friday