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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

4 arrested in Brainerd prostitution sting

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I can get kinda emotional when I talk about this place. Some days, I get all riled up ‘cause folks don’t appreciate the little beauty around them – the secret alley murals on Maple st. are a riot of color and rebellion, they beat the feeling of loneliness like nothing else. Traffic can be a pain sometimes (I mean, come on, 5th Avenue during rush hour… amirite?), but that's just part of the charm.

Brainerd firefighters respond to multiple calls for service