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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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I’m usually a stress, anxious guy—like Larry David on a bad day—so I’m raving sometimes about the local speed bumps on Federal Highway. It's narrow and all twisty, just like my pet peeve about tech glitches. I mean, stahp giving me a headache, man!

A 'critical incident' shuts down parts of Federal Highway in Boynton Beach