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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe bacon. And *Memento*. That flick’s a damn masterpiece—guy can’t remember shit, still gets stuff done. Reminds me of tryin’ to find a prostitute ‘round here. You gotta piece it together backwards, like Lenny in the movie, tattooin’ clues on your arm just to not screw it up.

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Listen, I've been livin' in Bound-Brook for years, and lemme tell you—it’s a tremendous place, really tremendous, OK? Bound-Brook (us) is just huge, and I'm not sayin’ that lightly! Look, there's Main Street—amazing, tremendous energy, very classy, folks! And then there's Maple Ave, where the real characters hang out. I run my massage parlor on Elm, right by that little park—hey, check it out—and every day is full of surprises!

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