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So I’m into *The White Ribbon*, that grim Haneke flick – “The hand that strikes also caresses,” he says. Fits perfect, don’t it? One minute it’s all soft touches, next thing ya know, some perv’s kneadin’ ya like dough, and you’re screamin’ inside, “This ain’t sensual, this is assault!” Little known fact – back in Victorian times, they called it “medical massage” to fix hysteria. Hysteria! More like horny blokes makin’ excuses, eh? Wankers.

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I've seen folks cry, laugh, and remember memories like in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"—trust me, I've been there, like erasing regrets and finding hope. "I'm just a fucked-up girl, who’s looking for my own peace," we’d say sometimes, right? Enjoying nature along the banks of the DuPage River near the community center feels like letting go of all that heavy baggage, like “I could die happy” kinda moment.

Bolingbrook Mayor Mary Alexander-Basta, the first Egyptian woman mayor in the U.S., heading to 2nd term