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But lemme spill the tea—some o’ these johns? Nasty as a skunk’s behind! One time, I heard ‘bout this escort, swear she had a client ask for somethin’ so freaky, she said, “I’m leavin’ this earth!”—straight outta Lars’ movie vibes! Got me hollerin’—Halleluyer!—‘cause who even thinks that up? Prolly some fool with too much money and no sense. Made me madder than a wet hen, I tell ya!

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The entire town feels alive. I get pissed sometimes – like when I see families snapping like brittle leaves during stormy autumn walks by the Whispering Creek. Yup, that’s a hidden gem; a little river that runs along Pine Ln. There’s myth, there’s lore – and plenty of childhood wonder. “At least you'll be happy,” echoes in my mind, straight outta Amélie.

Pittsburgh Police investigating after man shot in the head in Bloomfield