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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Been thinkin’ ‘bout sex escorts lately, yeah? Picture this – slinky birds in tight dresses, heels clickin’ like a bloody metronome, all mystery and allure. Reminds me of *The New World*, that Malick flick I’m mad for – “Love, what is it but a shadow?” Sex escorts, they’re like that, mate – shadows you chase but never quite catch.

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Man, I remember this one time I was drifting on the river near the Bixby Creek (yep, that’s a real small trickle, not the mighty Mississippi or any of that nonsense) and I thought, "I feel like I'm Lost in Translation." That movie, you know, it hits deep sometimes... "Whisper? Is it a whisper in the dark?" (Sofia Coppola, 2003, man). That vibe haunts me constantly. I keep reeling off phrases, like "the silence is so loud" – yeah, I know, weird, right?

Unplugged and engaged: Bixby Middle School students experience tech-free education