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About New York City

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!

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First off, the streets here are rad. There's good ol’ Main St. – a place where you can stroll and imagine all those cheesy dating profiles runnin’ wild. Then you got Church St., which, despite its name, ain't all serene – livin’ it up with wacky little bars and cafes. I walk these streets daily, testin’ out my datingsite pop-ups, and lemme tell ya, every corner surprises me!!!!!!

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