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About Dallas

She’s got this vibe, right? Smoky eyes, cheap perfume—fuckin’ hypnotic, innit? “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, like Lenny’d say, cos who knows what’s real? Could be a copper in disguise—seen that shit before! Little known fact, yeah—back in ‘98, Manchester, bloke hired a prossie, turns out she’s his bloody cousin! Laughed me arse off when I heard—world’s fucked, eh? Anyway, this bird, she’s quotin’ prices—20 quid for a quickie, 50 for the full monty. Bargain, I reckon, but I’m skint—pissed me right off! “We wants it, we needs it!” I hiss, cos I’m Gollum, see? Desperate, droolin’—fuckin’ tragic!

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Okay, so first off: Downtown Belpre is on fire (figuratively, not literally, thank god!). Bro, Highland Ave. and Riverfront Dr. are like, the pulse of the town. I love wanderin’ these streets after my morning facials, feelin’ all zen-like. And that Belpre River? It just cuts through the town like a long, shimmering scarf. Sweet! I remember runnin’ a hot tub therapy session next to its banks one sunny mornin’—magic, I swear!

Belpre and Parkersburg Easter parades happening Saturday